Today was a heap of shite.
Today was awful.
Today I have spent all day cleaning just to have it all completely undone behind me by all of the boys.
I bought a new toilet seat last night which is, er, novelty, because basically I was pissed off at playing arse roulette every time I sat down because it kept falling off.
Now I have a horrid, twee, novelty one which says;
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
please be a sweet and wipe the seat!"
In a fancy font. My kids have obviously taken it to be as ironic statement of intent - I gave a wry giggle as I lifted the lid to find tinkle all over it.
I would have hauled the buggers up for it, but I was also dealing with the sodden towels and soaked nappies after both husband and children had showered and stepped over/used all of them to mop up water spillage from the shower/bath that I chose to not fight that particular battle at that moment.
Both older boys have had haircuts today, and while I was very pleasantly surprised at how well they turned out (I did them myself) and the lack of tears and the good amount of sitting still from them both while I did it, I still had to contend with a day of clipping loose bits, sweeping up masses of hair (it gets EVERYWHERE!) and stopping the baby from eating various clumps. He has a knack for finding shit you don't want him to have.
It's handy for cleaning the floor, mind you.
I'm trying to hawk all of my old baby shit on ebay and the like to make enough money so we can actually have food this month, but nobody wants any of it, which is leading to further bad mood-ing, only helped further by the fact I needed a new tyre anyway but now I need two, because there's a horrible slow puncture in the front one.
So, if anyone has a recipe for rubber ravioli, that would be grand. I'm sure tyre tabbouleh could be accomplished somehow. I'm sure I can magic it out of my arse like I can everything else!
We went out this afternoon for a drive (to get out of the house) and I took them to Toys R Us because basically I'm into self-flagellation of the highest order and I hate myself.
They spent the whole time asking for things/moaning about how we never buy anything and asking for more things.
I spent the whole time totting up in my head what Xmas/birthday season might look like this year and inwardly screaming.
We left TRU sharpish with promises of 'something' (nice, vague stab in the dark answer) at the next shop, which resulted in my spending of £4 of sacred food money on yet more stuffed animals with shiny eyes.
Fuck my life. What is with the animals with the shiny eyes?
I treated myself to some shapewear (woo hoo!) because basically I'm fed up of this weird shelf-thing going on at the front of my body due to three c-sections and carrying MASSIVE children. Tesco shapewear, very very cheap. Only the finest.
Which of course means it's probably going to be a massive inconvenience (think, rollydown and uncomfy and bulgy) and I am seriously going to miss that £5 at the end of the month, but it was almost worth it for the giggle I got from Ethan at mum buying the 'crazy pants!'
"It's so embarrassing, mum!"
I have had nothing but attitude from the oldest one all day - he is really busting my balls at the moment and I don't have a clue why - neither does he apparently. Trust me, I've asked him.
I am constantly telling him off or calling him up for his manners, or cheek or behaviour and it's awful because he is my good one, he is my reliable one. And now he's going through some kind of pre-pre-teen thing (I googled, apparently it's hrmones) and it's shit. And it just makes me fear that the other two will do this too and I'll be left in a corner, crying at home videos of how cute they were when they were two and malleable.
We got home at tea-time, which meant digging deep for the energy to produce a decent cooked meal while the baby held onto my leg/ destroyed the kitchen/went into the bathroom and slipped on the still-wet floor.
The bathroom floor needs replaced because - hello- previous owner was a douchebag and put down the cheapest laminate flooring which you cannot get wet. Our bathroom floor has to be able to tolerate wet - they are boys, they are constantly pissing everywhere and they love to soak the floor while bathing. We need, like, a sealed wetroom. That's the only way this is going to work.
It smells. It's warped. It's on my ever-growing to-do list.
Along with the front door, the hall, the windows, the bathroom light, school uniforms etc etc etc.
Well, off to bed.
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