Tomorrow is the day where we, the Scottish people, make a long-lasting and definite decision about our futures.
So far, it's all been done in the best possible politeness and always with respect for the other side. But now that we enter the real decision making time, emotions have become fraught.
My own emotions are no different. There hasn't been a night this week where I haven't sat down in front of a video of the latest Yes rally
a talk from Jim Sillars
or another amazingly motivating speech from Cat Boyd
and shed a few tears.
We have to do this.
We have to.
I have listened to a lot of people talk, from yes and no. Yes makes more sense to me - societally. Why? Yes has been self-funded, the passion has come from 'normal' people on the street and Yes is by the people for the people. If you aren't prepared to listen to your fellow man - what is the point? These are all highly intelligent, brilliant people who have LIVED and worked on the streets and in the houses that will be affected by what will happen. You can't manage something if you can't relate to it. And Yes does.
I don't know if I can ever communicate fully the range of emotions that whistle inside of me when I think of what's at stake, but I genuinely feel that if we cannot do this; be it by a small margin or a landslide, then not only has Scotland been robbed of the chance to stand on her own two feet, but her people, her working class people, the ones who struggle and need a voice will be stamped down on and made to be quiet again. And after all that's happened - the huge number who have registered to vote, the conversations that happen in the street, the rallies, the discussions on social media - that would be a massive waste indeed.
I've been quite angry over the last few weeks. And I have been challenged by No voters about my point of view. And the anger has grown from there - not because I have been challenged; no, not at all. But because I have been dismissed. My fears and my whole life experience has been dismissed. I've been talked to like I haven't read the information. Like I'm too wee to understand. Too poor to understand the real financial stuff. Too stupid to have done my own research.
I don't like tarring folk with the same brush - no two people are the same and you can never know someone, nor can you judge them, until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
We've personally had a tough few weeks, for reasons that I won't go into. Yet again, however, financial stuff has flared it's ugly head. The realisation that we are one solid wage away from visiting a foodbank is stark. It's so easy for anyone to slip into that position. Anyone at all. Get ill, lose your job, have an accident...the fine balance is tipped. You never know what might happen.
We also learned this week that we have to reconsider our whole lives yet again, right down to where we live and what we do.
And at the back of that are all of these amazing scenes of hope. Hope that things can be different for my own bairns.
I cannot wait for tomorrow.
It's time to stop being scared. Hope over fear, life over barely scraping by.
Dear No voters, I do not scrape by due to 'poor life choice' - oh no. It's because the deck has been stacked against me my whole damned life. It's not for a want of trying. And I'm not saying that an Independent country will be some kind of panacea where everything will be magically solved. I am well aware that I might not get the benefit of it. But if my kids or grandkids do, well that's what I'm happy with.
The problem with folk who are comfy is that it's hard to give up comfort. I get it. The fact that nearly HALF of our population (according to official polls) is screaming that they are NOT comfy, that they are struggling, that they are fed up with the status quo - surely that's a wake-up call? That's why a No to me looks selfish. It's inward-looking. Our people need this. Britain's people need this.
I have a hard week coming work-wise and I'm sure there'll be no sleep on Thursday night.
When I get up tomorrow morning and get my kids ready to head over to the polling station to vote, I will be emotional.
Because once, just this once, this is my own wee say in the world. And I'm saying I've had enough. Scotland has had enough of being silent and putting up. Whatever happens on Friday morning - this will never be the case ever again. We are not a wee nation - we are a very, very big nation with a very big voice.
I can feel change in the air.
We need this.
Click here for my post about why I'm voting YES!
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