The monetized barrier...

Tom comes home with a letter from the school.

"Dear Parent,

A small number of vacancies exist for children to have lessons on violin/viola/cello...."

...stuff about commitment and practice...

...then the hard sell.

" Cost of tuition: £231 (3 instalments of £77)

Hire of instrument: £30"

Yeesh, take that right in the face.

"Lessons are free if you are in receipt of:

Income support
Job Seekers Allowance (income based)
Employment & Support Allowance (imcome related)
Child Tax Credit (with annual income of less than £16,105)
Child Tax Credit and Working Tax Credit (with annual income of less than £16,105)
Universal Credit"

That's not us.

We are just over the bracket of a sizeable enough income to exclude us from any kind of benefit, thankfully (apart from the bastarding life-saving Working Tax ones which they keep messing up, grr.  But really - thank goodness for them. Otherwise we would be homeless by now!)

But only just.

But three installments of £77?

No can do.

At the moment, that's a week's worth of shopping.  Two and a half weeks most months if I'm honest.  It's amazing how far a big bag of pasta can stretch between five and a dog.

I say: amazing, I mean: I am so fed up of pasta.

Tom came home buzzing about having tried out the cello: " I was SO good at it, mum!"

He's scanning my face to see what I'm going to say.

In his heart of hearts, he knows I'm not going to deny him access to something he is passionate about or could be really good at, so we have the conversation:

"You'd have to practice every. single. day."

"I know!"

"You'd have to perform in the school orchestra at events and stuff.  No option not to."

"I know! It'd be so cool...I've seen them do that..."

Then it crushes me - we've had to say no to so much over the last couple of years, he's unsure.  I can see in his eyes he's given up already.  He knows it's not a reality.

I'm unsure now whether it's because he's scared he's going to under-perform in some way, not be good enough or if he can see in my eyes the panic and the calculation of how and when £77x3 might come from over the next year.

When I was Tom's age, I learned the violin at school.  I did it for about 6 years and right into high school...until I suddenly had to pay for it.

See, my mum was a single parent and we just didn't have the money for stuff like that.

I was okay at the violin - I was no prodigy - but I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed the group of people who did music; I never felt like I fit in anywhere else really. I was good at Art, but Art was expensive - full of trips to Paris and expensive materials there was no way I would be able to get up the courage to ask my mum for.

Languages were all about text books and more trips abroad.  Very expensive trips abroad.

I dodged them all carefully.  I had a job, but that paid for my school uniform.  I was the kid who got EMA to get by. That's how we lived.

I guess I always assumed that when I was married and had a job and two incomes in the house that this other stuff would just...be okay.

And it will be one day (everything crossed).

But for now, my boy will miss out.  Which is a shame.  I feel like money is the barrier to him maybe being good at music.

Maybe being a wizard at rock climbing.

Maybe being an amazing computer coder.

Maybe getting decent at football or gymnastics or something sporty enough to help him out at school with some friends.

He's not poorly off.  He has clothes that fit.  He has a roof over his head.  He has a big bloody garden to play in and gets gifts on his birthday.

Lucky, lucky, lucky.  Beyond lucky.

We have that 'work/life/balance' thing down (at last) where he spends tangible amounts of time with both parents.

We are safe, we don't live in an earthquake zone, there's no war in our streets.

He doesn't always have what he would  like to eat, but he has enough to eat.

Lucky. Lucky. So, so, lucky.

He has a lot of good things going that other kids don't.

But sometimes I feel like we are the shit in the shit sandwich, you know? We're not the end, we're not the crust but the shit in the middle.

And when he comes home yet again with something else that kids in his class are raving about doing, when he wants to go to the sports class, or try something new or do something out of the ordinary and I shrug it off with the age-old, "sorry, buddy, it's just too much.."...ahrgh, it kills me.

I feel like my kids are forced out of all this stuff.  I wish everything for kids to be accessible to all children, regardless of status.

Especially as opportunities are becoming more monetized.

It's such a shame.

I know I'm probably not harbouring the next rock star.  I'm probably not sitting on some great architect or the doctor who will cure cancer once and for all....but how do we know for sure?

What if he is the next Andy Murray?

What if he has the potential for something we cannot afford to unlock because of the monetized barriers?

Papercutting

Today I'm attending an art group where I will be tutoring adults on various arts and crafts.  Interestingly, the classes are to be themed around Commonwealth countries, thus making the choice of crafts a little more challenging!

I figured, seeing as I've never tutored an art class before, that I should start with something I know, so I decided to wade in with papercutting.

Papercuts are an older form of art and can be found in various interpretations all over the world, from China, to India, to England.  The oldest surviving paper cut is from 6th century China, and look a bit like this:

The ready availability of materials needed to papercut is probably the things which has made it so successful as a craft.  Almost anyone can pick up a scalpel, or other papercutting tool (they can be very fancy these days), and a piece of paper and get cutting.

It's very therapeutic too.

I began papercutting after stumbling across a very talented papercutter in one of my craft magazines one day. Paper Panda (or Louise Firchau) is a papercutter based in England who has created her own franchise of papercutting designs based on her own drawings and characters.

The work she does varies from lettering (a favourite of hers), to intricate work detailing houses (including ALL the rooms!), story pieces featuring her now famous bunny and bird characters, as well as some rather cheeky sweary word work.  I don't want to pinch any of her photos to stick up to show you (although I wish I could) because that's a bit naughty, so I'll leave this LINK here instead for you to look at.  You won't be disappointed!

Although, here's a papercut I did all by myself from one of her Paper Panda  template packs which is downloadable and you can keep forever! Great for practicing and making birthday cards out of!

Not bad for a first try, huh?

After reading her blog and having a nosey through the photos on her facebook page, I decided I would give papercutting a try - after all, all I needed was a knife, a cutting mat, some paper and some patience.

I've really enjoyed papercutting - it's a great wee craft which you can be as good at or as bad at as you like!  For those who are not so confident at it, there are various templates which you can download for free and print off, or if you're looking for some more intricate projects, some even sell their own designs for you to try.  Take a look on Pinterest, Etsy etc for inspiration.

One of my freehand papercuts

If you like drawing , you can even draw your own designs - but beware!  You have to think and draw back to front so that when you cut around the lines, you can flip it over to hide the pencil marks.  This is admittedly quite tricky to do! Alternatively, you can scan any front-facing drawing and, provided you have the correct software on your computer, you can easily flip the image and then print it out.

My favourite thing to do is a bit of freehand with a bit of light pencil thrown in.  I've done more than a few papercuts this way and quite enjoy it because it means I can change the image as I go (I am such a butterfly when it comes to these things.  I can never stick with a plan!




Here are a few tips for successful papercutting

Freehand xmas design

1. Don't panic if you can't get it right first time. It can be really hard to get the hang of tension, pressure and the actual cutting blade.  Try sitting with different kinds of card or paper and cutting out freehand shapes for practice.
2. Start with something easy. It might be something that looks so simple that it almost looks too easy, but you need to build up to cutting out tiny detailed shapes. You'll get much more gratification from it if you start slowly.
3. Change your blade often.  The sharper the blade, the better and smoother the cut - and the more likely you'll be able to cut the tiny details
4. Take it slowly. There's no rush! Papercutting should be something you can concentrate on but enjoy. If you are getting frustrated, stop.
5. Cut away from your hand! These are sharp, sharp scalpel blades and it's very easy to accidentally stab a finger - and whatever you do, watch your face! You have no idea how many times I've gone to itch my face or my nose with the scalpel in my hand!

It's great fun - why not give it a try? What's your favourite found craft?

Digestive Art

Fancy an easy and no-fuss bit of baking time with the kids, but can't be bothered with the mess and fuss of a full-blown cake mix extravaganza?

Fancy letting the kids indulge in their own creativity while you 'supervise' and get to eat the proceeds?

Why not try some Digestive Art?

You will need:

1 pack of cheap-ass digestive biscuits (the cheaper they are, the more you get in a pack, the more time that the kids will be 'creating' thus leaving you in peace to indulge in some 'you' time!)

1 pack of writing icing in quite a few colours

Some sprinkles

A bowl of melted chocolate (or 2 if you are feeling like some white chocolate and some milk chocolate!)

Marshmallows

Method:

First, we put two marshmallows between two digestives and blipped them in the microwave for 10 whole seconds.  This made the marshmallows nice and squishy, providing a nice sticky centre (and the kids feel like they are 'baking', ha ha!)

Next, I loaded my 'baked' goods onto a plate, laid down some tissue and let them loose with some melted in the microwave hot chocolate.

They dipped, and wrote with the icing and covered the biscuits in sprinkles.

Busy, busy, busy!

Oh, the concentration!

Ok, I might have made one too - it was pretty fun!

M is for Mum!  My biscuit!

I have to say, this has been one of my favourite activities of the holidays so far - I sat around surfing the net, watching some comedy shows and kicked back while my children made me some delicious sugary treats!

Happy days!

What The Blethering Boys Are Playing Today:Lollipop Stick Aliens!

Today is a crafty kind of day, and we have a load of craft materials that we never know what to do with.  So a quick don of the thinking cap, and some googly eyes...repeat after me: EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER WITH GOOGLY EYES.

And we have come up with some pretty cool Lollipop Stick Alien Wall Decorations.

You will need:

Lollipop Sticks (lots - once you make one, you'll be making more!)
Googly Eyes
Glue
String
Any other craft Material and your imagination.  We had feathers and felt tip pens.

First, lay out the lollipop sticks on a flat surface, side by side.  Glue two lollipop sticks and stick them across the back of the others, like so:

Hold it down and turn it over, pressing it against a hard surface until dry enough to work with.

Now it's time to decorate!

As you can see, Ethan enjoyed penning a nose onto his alien!  Hee hee!

I had fun making one too!

Ethan got loads out of this

• Choice and Decision Making - he chose the colours and what we used for the face and hair
• Fine motor skills (glueing small bits)
• Patience (waiting for glue to dry)
• Storytelling (there was a whole massive story accompanying our aliens!)
• Sense of achievement
• Mum time

Why not a have a go with your wee ones?  Don't just stick with aliens or feathers - why not try scarecrows with paper hats, dried macaroni for hair or ribbon for a tongue?

Pipe Cleaner Octopus Fun! Easy and Cute Make for Kids (and adults!)

What do you do when you are presented with a ton of pipe cleaners?

Surely they are crafting hell?  What do you do with them, apart from, well, cleaning pipes?  Aren't they the things that come in the craft box and get flung in the bin when they get all bent of shape?

The best I have ever done with them before was to make a pretty bad, spiky and tacky looking bracelet which fell apart within 5 minutes.

Today however, I decided to rise to the pipe cleaner challenge and craft a pretty cool Octopus.

It was easy - I had googly eyes.  EVERYTHING looks better with googly eyes.

For this, I used a handful of pipe cleaners - around 20.

I gathered them in a bunch, making sure to mix the colours and secured them at the top by wrapping another pipe cleaner around a couple of inches down.

I then straightened them out, and clasping them further down, pushed down until the pressure bent the wire into a pleasing oval shape, securing with another separate pipe cleaner - this will be the head.

Next, I twisted the long lengths of pipe cleaners around each other - two or even three at a time, in different colours to make some pretty cool, bendy Octopus legs.

It still doesn't look great, but bear with me!

I then gathered my legs very carefully (making sure I had eight - for some reason despite the fact that this was just for me and no children were involved, I had to make it anatomically correct.*)

*disclaimer - I'm too lazy to Google whether an Octopus actually has 8 legs or not.  I still felt like it should have 8 legs.  Because I'm crazy.

Then I stood him up to see what he would look like.  At this point I am quite chuffed with the outcome.

 

I mean, come on - that's pretty cool, huh?

But wait until you see this...

Wait!

 **************************drumroll***************************

 TAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAAA!

I'm going to call him Stan.  Or Fred.  Fred the Octopus.

Hope that wasn't too anti-climatic for you.

Although, now I have a fab wee craft to make with the kids - I'm sure they are going to love it!

How I am a Tinfoil Genius and other Easter-related things

Pretty Colours!

Tinfoil is awesome.  Not only does it save your oven from getting all bread-crumby while cooking fish fingers, it also doubles as some pretty cool wrapping paper if you ever find yourself short.

Not that I've ever done that. (hides from various folk who have received gifts from me in tinfoil)

It is also an amazing sculpting tool.  Look at these trees that I made out of tinfoil.

I started with a single sheet and just scrunched it into a shape, adding layers until I got this cute little tree.

Then I decided to make a bigger one.

 

To make them sit in the pot I sat them in, and then stuffed newspaper around them.  It's important to make your branches as thick as you can so that they hold weight -  layers give it strength.

 

And now, to decorate:

 

 

How To Make Tinfoil Eggs

 

• Tinfoil
• Sellotape
• A small piece of ribbon
• Glue
• Tissue Paper
• Pens/Glitter for decoration

Start with a strip of tinfoil about the length of a large open book.  The bigger your strip, the larger your egg will be.

Cut this strip into smaller, wide strips.

 

 

Then select a piece of ribbon.  Loop it and sellotape the loose ends in the centre of one strip.

Next, scrunch your tinfoil into an egg-shape around the sellotaped piece of ribbon, so you have the beginnings of your decoration.

Keep wrapping the other strips around your egg, tightly, keeping it smooth and egg-shaped as you go.  Soon you'll have a larger egg which we can start sticking tissue paper to. Like this:

 

 

I just used UHU stick and tissue paper, which can be quite fiddly.  You can also glue the egg itself if it's too tricky.  Use little bits of ripped tissue, much like paper mache, to cover the egg.

 

You can layer, use lots of colours, or go for a plain effect - use your imagination.

 

 

I used a few different colours here and got a marbled effect.  I love bright colours - and from a distance all of the colours together look so fresh and spring-like. Ahhh!

 

 

I also made a wee nest for my chicks out of scraps of wool, wound around a pipe-cleaner net which I fashioned, ad-hoc. Aren't they cute?

Finally, decorate your eggs if you fancy with pen, glitter, sequins - anything. And hang on your tree!

 

The chicks look happy with their egg tree!  Better add some to the large one. 

 

I'll get 'cracking'.  Get it?

 

Sorry, that was an eggstremely bad joke...