I had a wee glance at the Scotsman today (I know, it's rubbbish!) and caught a wee
glimpse of Alex Salmond photo-bombing a poor lassie’s round of golf for no
apparent reason.
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| Spending time with Alex Salmond is a good walk spoiled. |
It reminded me of the time he played football and got me
thinking about how I would use the photo-op to win the heart of millions and a general election.
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| On the 'ead |
My tactic would be to spend a day of creating the best
political photo- ops ever in homage to some of my favourites of all time.
I guess I could start with the sports, but that would make
me really hungry and I’d need a pasty after that and probably a pint to wash it
down. Luckily for me this is a well-trodden photo-op path. All of us politicians
love a pie (or a bacon roll) do we not, and so long as I’m a proper
right-winger I’ll get away with having a beer.
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| Tosser with a pint! |
Politicians love going to people’s work don’t they? And dressing up...
I’d be sure to fit in a wee stroll along the beach. Nothing
could go wrong there right?
I’d have to remember to smile of course!
I’ll spend a bit of time with my celebrity mates.
Hold a baby!
And pose for my corporate sponsors.
So that’s it. One day, many photos and then people will
believe that I’m actually a person rather than a soulless and incompetent parasite
who only wants to be elected cos I heard the expenses are pretty good.
Nah... Sod it I’ll just take my top off, ride a horse and
shoot a gun!!!!
