Motherland; Good For Whatever Soul I Have Left

 I'm really enjoying Motherland on Netflix just now.

If you haven't caught it yet - have a go.  It is a somewhat slightly exaggerated take on the trials and tribulations of parenting school-age children and the school-gate politics that arise.

As a mama to three boys and having dealt with the school gates for the last 13 years, I can find a wee bit of myself and people I know in each of the characters.

I'm no fan of trying to make mum pals - in fact, I flat out suck at it.  

It's caused me a lot of heartache and confusion over the years.

I've come to the conclusion that actually, I am far too eclectic, too full of dark humour and just not 'proper' enough to make it with the 'in' crowd and actually, I have totally given up.

On a Motherland scale of Amanda to Liz, I am 100% a Liz.

Diane Morgan as Liz in the brilliant Motherland

From the moment she chopped her own finger off slicing frozen cheese for Julia and calmly headed off to A&E after doing her own first-aid, to the drunken promises she made on behalf of Julia and Kevin for the school fundraiser, I can totally relate to being the outsider who just does herself and fuck whatever anyone else thinks. I appreciate her down-to-earth take on things, her patience, her wit and I absolutely see her dogged determination to survive and make sense of whatever shitty hand she is dealt.

As a mum at a small-ish village school, in a relatively higher class area, I stick out like a sore thumb.

I'm not well-off enough to carry off anything classy.  Messy bun? Tick.  Running late? Epically. Tick!

I'm the one whose son wears princess dresses because he can if he wants, who champions unbranded school uniforms to keep the cost of the school day down for everyone, and asks awkward questions around fundraising.  I'm a rule-bender, a risk-taker and someone who speaks their mind.

 My kids are not in the expensive swim team, football club, art club or drama group, nor are they sporty.  I let them spend a lot of time on their computers.  We have very loose bedtimes at weekends.  

I can't afford to send them to the various 'lovely' activities the other kids enjoy, nor do we massively value academia. We would rather the kids were safe, happy and loving what they do, because we both tried hugely and did all the right things, kicked our own arses to get the grades and have struggled ever since!

As two people who have been very roughly shafted by the world in the pursuit of such stuff, we are more than a little disillusioned and probably a wee bit traumatised, and so we are focused on raising our kids to be decent people with kind, compassionate, inclusive values, where you aren't afraid to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty and where you open your mind to as much as possible - we can't begin to imagine a world for our kids where fitting in with an ever-decreasing elite of paid-for opportunity and outstanding grades at all costs would be a 'good' thing to do.

Me and my husband both work in the third sector - not only do we both know what it is like to live in relative poverty and deal with the many social, physical and emotional challenges it brings, we also spend our days scooping up other people who are dealing with the effects; the time for giving a shit about manicured lawns or whether our cars are immaculate is not really now for us.  

Is everyone fed, clothed, washed, happy, achieving, nurtured and well-humoured though? Yes! Isn't that what counts? 

Does our lack of care around some of the finer details come off as bad parenting?  

Probably.

I am tired.  My life has been a fucking struggle.  Girl, I am surviving and I will absolutely take that.

Motherland tackles this to some degree. It encompasses the spectrum of mother characters quite aptly; the single mum, the stay at home mum, the stay at home dad, the seemingly-has-it-all mum, the queen bee mum and her side-kick and the mum who has run out of shits and just wants to get through it.

Joining the school PTA has become a recent favourite weird pastime for me - I'm not sure the Head Teacher knows what to do with me.  

Here's the woman he has pegged as an incompetent mother (veiled very thinly) showing up, giving a shit, interacting, giving opinions that he finds he 9/10 actually agrees with and it's always entertaining on the Zoom call (with the brilliant rural wifi 1.5 second lag) inadvertently showcasing my dark humour, which the other mums really don't seem to understand. 

The dark humour usually comes out around some of the more mundane topics, like dog shit or parking and I can't help myself.  It's been nearly two hours talking about dog poop and I start making quips, and it's like unleashing the beast.  And guess what?  Apparently, giggling about dog poop on kids shoes isn't that funny, Genna. 

"Why am I such an outcast?" I'll sob to Dave (usually the day before my period when the world is a dark black spot of shit and everything is pressing harder on me than usual).

I tried to make mum friends - I really did.  I suck at it.  I'm in the wrong area; outcast, out-resourced and outnumbered.  I'm in a weird middle ground and I guess I have resigned myself to a lifetime of lonlieness.

Fuck it.

For now I'm taking my solace in Motherland and enjoying their take on Mum life.

If you are like me and feel totally left out of the mum circle with no hope of getting in any time soon, give it a watch.

It's a source of real comfort in an ever-weird and confusing world of parent politics.

My 5 Repeatable Comedy Box Set Favourites

Who doesn't love a good comedy box set?  Something that you can relax, kick back and have a good giggle with at the end of yet another long day?

It's very hard to find the perfect comedy - it has to be something funny with a touch of human emotion, not too serious but with a grain of realistic amounts of crazy and let's face it, full of truth.  A lot of stuff is funny because it's true.

A difficult concoction to master.

So here's 5 of my absolute favourites, which I think stand the test of time and true comedy.

1. Everybody Loves Raymond.

This one is the top of my list.  Why?  It's a sure-fire way to get me giggling from my belly.  It's warm, honest, funny and totally typifies marriage and the familial relationships that so often come with it.

I love it because it's side-splitting hilarious , yet has moments where it tugs at the heart-strings and lifts you right back up again.

I remember watching Raymond through my first pregnancy - there was nothing like catching it first thing in the morning after yet another uncomfortable sleepless night.

I watched it when my eldest son was admitted to hospital when he was 3 years old with a bad bout of tonsillitis - it lightened the mood considerably after being stuck in a side-room with  a cranky, ill toddler.

And now, thanks to the wonders of the internet, I can watch it on YouTube any time I want!

From Debra's never-ending despair at living in such close proximity to her calamitous in-laws, to poor Robert always trying to get one over on his younger, more successful brother with a multitude of practised, pained expressions, Everybody Loves Raymond is perfect viewing for anyone who has had to weave their way through the complicated craziness of family life

It's hard to choose a favourite, as I'm lucky enough to still be finding ones I haven't seen yet, but one that sticks out is the one where Marie makes a sculpture that looks like a vagina after discovering that she has a talent for art.  Hilariously, it takes a visit from a nun before Marie realises what she has created, while the whole family look on in horror and embarrassment.



I think Everybody really does Love Raymond - it's impossible not to!

2. Still Game

A very close second favourite of mine is Still Game.  True, honest, Scottish humour - no-nonsense and completely realistic of the way Scottish people can use terrible insults as terms of endearment with their closest friends.  Anyone who has lived in a scheme, or who has elderly relatives or has experienced first hand, the sharp, wry Scottish banter can relate to the escapades of Jack, Victor, Winston et al.

One of the saddest days of my life was when Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill fell out and stopped making Still Game.  Maybe that's part of the magic - there's not enough to get fed up of them or to wear down the humour, but I've watched every episode so often, my box set is starting to wear out!

Thankfully rumour has it that they are going to be/have started making some stuff again - including taking Still Game live on stage!  I'm hoping they will be on T.V soon!

Best enjoyed with a pint of beer, at any time of year, but particularly around Christmas time for some reason.

Favourite Episode?

So, so, soooo SO hard to choose, but I think it has to be the one where Tam has a baby.  Or the one where Jack and Victor go to Canada.  Or the one where they sail down the Clyde for Victor's birthday...or the one where Winston moves to Finport....don't make me choose!

3. Frasier

Ah, it's so clever isn't it?  Nothing makes me feel more intellectual than when I am guffawing at a clever pun or laughing at yet another intricate and completely perfect plot-line that results in a series of beautifully orchestrated mishaps involving Frasier and his family.

Despite all the practice at upper-class lifestyles and 'fame', the crux of the matter is, that Frasier is really just a down-to-earth guy with some good values and some good morals.

The reason that this show got so many seasons is due to the hard work of some pretty super-talented writers and some very talented actors, who hit the comedy nail on the head every single time.
The plot lines never got old either - rather than perpetuate Niles's lust for Daphne, we got to see progress in them finally getting together and having a baby.  We see Martin move on from his accident and grief over the loss of his wife, and into a new relationship that provides him with vim and vigour, and Frasier?

Well, by the end of the last season it's as if Frasier has never really changed - he's still single and desperately seeking love.  As he reflects at the end of his time in Seattle, we could argue that although nothing has changed for him, his experiences have changed him immensely, which is one of the best bits about the series - there's always a deeper, emotional meaning.

Favourite episode? - This is tough.  I've seen them all so many times (we have most of the box sets!) but my favourite one has to be the episode where Patrick Stewart plays a man who really fancies Frasier, wooing him with gifts, and inviting him to a super-posh party, where he discovers that Sir Patrick's character isn't just being a good friend.

Once again it's comedy at it's finest - like a fine-tuned slapstick.



Watch it, you will cry with laughter! An amazing piece of writing, perfectly acted out.

4. Archer

"Lana...? Lana...?

LAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"WHAT?"

"Danger zone..."

If you've never seen Archer, you are seriously missing out.  Animated, yes it is, but it's a classy kind of animated.

Oddly un-cartoony (yep, that's a word) for a cartoon, Archer is the awesome spy series you've been waiting for.

Archer is a horrible person with a penchant for cute animals and a soft spot for babies.  His mother is the head of Isis, the espionage company he works for.

How do I explain the brilliance of Archer?  I can't.  It's a mish-mash of crazy characters, hilarious antics, clones, robots, space-pirates and various cocktails.

Kenny Loggins, Burt Reynolds, Seth Rogen and Patrick Stewart have all lent their voices to some pretty brilliant cameos too.



It's completely my sense of humour, it hits way below the belt a lot of the time, but it will always be on my hit list.  It definitely has the re-watchability factor too, and has added a lot of new phrases and referencing to my repertoire.

5.The Inbetweeners

The show that I can totally relate to, even though I am no longer 17 years old.  We all remember being there - on the verge of adulthood, a whole world of responsibility before us, yet not quite within our grasp.  The whole yearning to be all grown-up and sensible, while completely mis-interpreting what it actually means to be old and sensible.

The Inbetweeners only ran for three oh-so-short seasons, but it was so popular that it merited not one, but two films.

There's something about this whole coming-of-age scenario that proves to be successful - this particular stage of life, perched on the cusp of adulthood yields a dearth of embarrassing moments, humiliating scenes and comedic errors - as proved by other similar franchises, such our friends in the American Pie movies.

Favourite Episode? - It has to be the one where they go to Thorpe Park, mainly because Will is as big a geek about rollercoasters as I am.



Banter.  Pure banter.


What's your favourite comedy series?  Do you like to watch over and over, or are you always seeking something new?


Think these are funny? Read about that time my husband spewed on my face here!