Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Playcuters, Tick Tock Frocks and Dead Time: My Favourite Mistakes

The best mispronunciations of anything have come from my own children's mouths. They keep me laughing and giggling throughout the years, and they add to the crazy, lovely, funny and rich tapestry of the lives we share together.

Of course, the kids grow, hiccups are corrected, and all too soon it's easy to forget about the small turns of phrase that really kept you going through the tumultuous early years.

Reading threads like these on Mumsnet really make me laugh, and I reckon that we've coined up enough from our two Blethering Boys to get you giggling.

Here are some of my favourites - it's good to have them all written down so I can remember them!

Thinking about Dead Time a bit too much...


Dip Dip - Tomato sauce.  Now this is what we always call it in our house - from adults right down to kids.  You can't have chips without dip dip!

Not-Nots! - Octonauts.  Borne out of a very frustrating morning when Thomas was 2 years old and really wanted to watch 'not-nots' on television and I couldn't work out what the hell it was he was screaming for.  He got very frustrated, I got really wound up and there may have been a few tears shed.  I can laugh about it now, but when your first-born is shouting so vocally for something and neither of you can communicate to each other, it's pretty stressful!

The Den End - No matter how many times we try to tell him, whenever he is doing a maze puzzle, or is actually in a real maze, he is always on the look out for 'den ends'.  DEAD end, son, DEAD end. Which leads me nicely onto...

Dead Time - Yup.  Apparently it's not bed time.  It's dead time.  No wonder they are both always so against going to bed.

Mimit - 'Back in a mimit' is something I still say to them now, usually quite seriously.  That was one of those cute things that sticks.  Tom spent an entire summer when he was just over a year old telling us that he would, or I would, or Dad would be 'back in a mimit'.

Efin - This is the way that Tom spelled Ethan's name when he first started to write.  Like my 'efin' little brother.  Thank god for grammar.

Bother - Wee Efin wasn't just a great addition to our family, but something Tom spoke about constantly to strangers and anyone who'd listen about his 'new baby bother'.  Accurate.

Missisefes - Mississippi. What Tom counts to, like in the Lego Movie, when Emmet is counting 'one missisefes, two missisefes...'

Stanleeinpurl - Stan Lee, In Peril.  Tom is obsessed with Lego computer games.  This time last year he was extra-especially obsessed with Lego Marvel Action Superheroes on the Playstation 3.  It's a great wee game and we totally recommend it for your 5 year old. (I quite enjoyed it too)
A great wee feature in the Marvel Superheroes game is that the great comic book writer, Stan Lee, is a character who is trapped.  Indeed, he is 'in peril', and you get bonus points for 'saving him'.  Tom was obsessed with Stanleeinpurl and just said it all the time, as if it was this poor Lego man's full name.

'Just softing it, Mum'


Ethan has very recently had grommets inserted, so is still learning the lingo.  While he does struggle with some stuff and we do take our time to correct him, he is very often still feeling his way around the English language.  I would just like to iterate here, I am in no way worried about his language - he has come on leaps and bounds in the last four months alone and shows us new and amazing speech every single day.  He's a clever wee bugger.

Softing - To 'soft' something is to stroke it a wee bit.  So when I say 'DON'T TOUCH in my best scary foreboding voice when he is raking around my jewellery box or touching something he shouldn't in a shop, Ethan sweetly replies 'My not touching it, my just softing it'.  And he gets away with it, adorable wee bugger.

Frissmiss - Christmas.  Cute as hell.

Frockodile/Tick Tock Frock - Ethan is a massive fan of Peter Pan and Jake and the Neverland Pirates, so he constantly talks about the 'tick tock frock'  (tick tock croc) and is always on the lookout for 'frockodiles'  I never want this to change.  I have tried to correct him, but this is one in particular that's just not budging. He's adamant!

Playcuter - Computer.  Yup, it's the computer and you play games on it, thus it is a playcuter.  I have stolen this for my own use.  It's friggin' genius.

Santa Plaws - He comes at Frissmiss.

Keeojeon Wahnd - Nickelodeon Land.  Where we went in the summer holidays!  He loves Keeojeon Wahnd!

Cunting - Cutting.  A perfect example of him using this particularly joyful mispronounciation was when he was 'cunting' his Playdough with his cutter and repeatedly shouting 'cunting! cunting! cunting! cunting!' while caught in the moment, completely oblivious while we struggled to breathe through laughing so hard.

Ah...sweet, sweet memories!


  1. Oh this has made me laugh so much Genna! Thank you for this. Those boys are hilarious! X

  2. My son wrote C**t on second page of a letter as he'd seen me write Cont/...2. Great you've collected such sweet memories and thanks for the Linky :)


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