Tuesday, 8 April 2014

If i should ever leave my children suddenly, this is for them

Dear Boys,

If I ever have to leave you at any moment in time, for any reason that I am unaware of, know that I love you.

Know that I want you to be strong and happy - don't spend your life wallowing in grief for me. The years are short and you should try to get as much out of them as possible.  Remember me fondly and try to use your memories to do good.  Be good.

I have tried really hard my whole life to be better, to do better, to push myself up.  I would love for you guys to do the same; but try not to be like me.  Don't get too disheartened when life throws you a curveball.  Don't get worried so often.  Most of the time, things aren't as bad as they seem.

Look after your Dad for me.  He is the best man in the whole wide world; kind, good-hearted, even-tempered and fair.  You will find nobody else like him.  He needs a guide too sometimes, like we all do, and he is not a perfect model.  Nobody is.  He, like us all, struggles with his own stuff, and that should be kept in mind for times when you feel like he isn't doing his best.  Remember he is human too.  And he loves you with everything he has.  Give him cuddles and kisses.  Even when you are grown ups.  Treat him like one of your own - an intimate relationship with your father is something beautiful for a man.

There are, unfortunately people who aren't there for you.  False friends.  Bad souls.  Don't get caught up in their rubbish.  Spend time working out who is good for you and who is bad for you.  It should be quite clear.  Don't waste time or love or energy with anything that makes you feel bad or pained or less.  Life is far too short.  If people love you they will break down the door for you.  If you love them, break down the door for them.  If they don't respond, don't dismay.  They weren't yours to begin with.

Please, please, be nice to each other for your whole lives. Look after each other.  It is such a privilege to have a sibling and you should respect that relationship. Nobody else in the whole wide world is going to know of your life experience better than your brother.
Be careful of who you fall in love with - they should put up with your family because your family is a part of you.  If a person who loves you wants to take you away from your family, they are no good. Your family might be difficult and fractured and crazy sometimes, but it is yours and there's something of all of them in you. If someone who claims to love you can't accept that, then they can't love all of you.

Read books.  Please, always read books.  There is no finer escape from this world, no finer way of reasoning out your feelings than finding a kindred spirit between the pages.  Broaden your horizons, fall in love with characters, feel new things - read as often as you can and you'll never fail.

If you ever need help with anything; your health, money, your life, please ask someone.  Get help before it sets in too deep.  Don't be ashamed to ask for help.  Everyone does it sometimes and nobody is judging you, and if they are, ignore them.  They're not worth thinking about.

Try to eat well.  Be kind and respectful to others.  Always use your manners and please try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt - not every glove fits every hand.

Be kind to animals.  Take time to look at the bad things in the world and empathise.  If you can do something about them, please do it, no matter how small.  Little things go a long way.  If you can't do anything, don't block it from your hearts.  Sometimes just being aware can lead you in the right direction.

Treat the women in your life with respect and loyalty.  Don't let them treat you with anything less. As a woman, I feel it is important for my sons to know the cause of women and I wanted to raise you with an awareness and respect for equality.

Have fun when you can.  You don't know what's going to happen next week, let alone next year.  Take your kids to Disneyland.  Enjoy your time with them when they are young.  Let yourself be creative even if other say you are not.  There is joy in creating something for yourself that you can't get anywhere else.  Let yourselves be free.

Life is hard, but it is good.  I love you both more than anything I've ever had or wanted.  Any decisions I have made for you, however odd they might seem, whatever you think of them now, were agonised over to within the millimetre to make sure that they were right for you, and were not thought over lightly.  I am in the world, I have created so that I can live on, and I am happy with the results. You both make me so proud every day.

I love you to the moon (and back)
Cheesy, but true,

Mum xxxxxxxxxxxx

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