Monday, 7 April 2014

5 Reasons Why I Hate The School Holidays

Chutes are for going DOWN not up!

1. Play Areas Become Horrible Places

Seriously, I spend my life in the holidays getting up at the crack of dawn to get to the park before the other children arrive so I don't have to deal with tantrums, tears and tribulations associated with about a gazillion kids trying to use the two swings in the park.  Not to mention dealing with pushy parents - I have seen adults actually shout at each other when in the queue for the swings and it's a horrible thing to witness, and worse for the kids.

Outdoor play equipment is fab when there are a handful of kids carefully navigating their way around, but when there are way too many and they are pushing each other down the slide on top of the one horror that's decided to walk up it, or climbing on the highest bits en mass and are unable to get down without you having to pretty much climb on top of babies and toddlers, whose parents have decided that now is a good time to let them play in the crazy places, it gets a bit fraught.

Not to mention the holiday hell that is soft play during a school break.  I agree with MummySays when she asks 'Do you really want to go?'

These places are actually the seventh circle of hell; screaming kids, older ones battering into the smaller ones, parents not watching what their little darlings are up to - I may as well have sent my kids into some kind of soft play battlefield for an hour. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

2. The Plague of Locusts is Upon Us

A rare treat!

Well, maybe a slight exaggeration, but at least you can get rid of locusts.

My children eat like there's no tomorrow when they are at home.  Every second sentence is 'Muuuum, I'm hungry!'

Their stomachs know no limits; if they know that the food exists, it then becomes their sole purpose in life to consume it, as quickly as possible.  I've taken to food shopping when they are in bed so there is at least some element of surprise.

We do have set times for meals and snacks, but it's really hard to switch them off if they know we just bought in a biscuit barrel or a carton of raspberries!  It costs me a freaking fortune!

3.  The Ongoing Quest to Do Have 'Fun'

It makes me smile a wry grin when I think about it now, but I do remember bothering my own mother to 'do something fun' a lot of the time when I was off school for the holidays.

And as history does, it is casually repeating itself for my entertainment, like some kind of karmic payback.

'Are we doing something fun today mum?'

'I wanna do something fun! Pleeeease?'

And we do - we do a ton of fun stuff.  Our kids get a lot more than their average dose of fun, but like anyone, if you give them an inch, they take a mile. And they are always looking for the next fun thing.

But my idea of holiday and fun is just to sometimes have a seat and be at peace for a while - maybe just an afternoon or something.  If they'd just sit... *sigh*

How times change.

My mum must have a good giggle at me sometimes.

4.  The Mess!  The Crumby,  Sticky, Out-Of-Nowhere Mess!
*evil/innocent smiles*

It's like the house sneezed.  There's things out of cupboards and trailed all over the floor, DVDs are out of their cases and plates have appeared like magic under the couch and in beds!

How the hell has this happened?

I am spending 98% of my time wandering around clearing the decks, yet more keeps happening - there's poorly aimed wee on the floor, there's yoghurt on the chair and pen on the table; where the hell did they get a pen from?

I just found a toy sword stuffed in the bread bin.

It's like some kind of horrid groundhog day crossed with the feeling that I'm supposed to be cherishing this time somehow...

5. Yikes - Where'd All My Money Go?

I'm paying for a nursery place that I'm not using because it's the school holidays, but I have to keep paying for it to keep his place open. I try not to think about this too much - it's a lot of money per week.

We're also spending loads more money on 'treats' like the new Frozen DVD (totally worth it by the way - quietest they've been all week!), daytrips, food, drinks, bits and bobs that we wouldn't usually.  We're not big spenders because we can't afford to be, and we do try to keep to the free stuff, but it still seems as though the money has melted away, yet again.

On the plus side, only one week to go!


  1. I'm tired just thinking about it Genna!

  2. > It's like the house sneezed.

    That is a wonderful, if slightly icky, picture.

  3. Ha ha! Thanks for dropping by Mike :)


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